


Whole

by moeagaru



Category: GOT7
Genre: M/M, jark, markson
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-19
Updated: 2016-09-19
Packaged: 2018-08-16 02:16:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,791
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8082802
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/moeagaru/pseuds/moeagaru
Summary: In a world where running away and hiding was considered normal for Mark, he found a saviour in the boy with a shit-eating grin and a passion for fencing.





	

> _**He took another hit and braced himself, scratching the palms of his hands against the coarse gravel of the school playground. Mark hit the ground and tasted the metallic of blood on his tongue - a grimace forming on his face as he turned to face the three boys staring down at him. Mark carefully licked at the cut in his lip and took a shuddered breath. “Can’t get enough of me, can you?” The reply he got was a triple-headed sneer and a kick to the gut, knocking the air straight out of his lungs. “You got guts, faggot, you know that?” One of the bullies chuckled dryly as another spat on Mark’s hair and motioned for them to end their play time for now. “See you tomorrow, fairy boy.”** _
> 
> _**Mark winced as he fought for air and rolled onto his back, placing his scraped palms onto his stomach. Another Tuesday had passed. Only three more days until the weekend would finally release him from his daily encounters.** _

Mark transferred to another school the week after those boys had done their worst and put Mark into the hospital with a concussion. After his parents had driven him home, they made sure everyone who’d ever laid a finger on their son was expelled. Nevertheless, they felt that it would be best if Mark spent the rest of his senior year somewhere he could recover – somewhere he didn’t have to be reminded of what had happened. He’d never told his parents the reason why he got bullied, so they assumed it was because he was just “too good” or “too smart” for their likings. The brunet snorted every time he thought of that ridiculous insinuation. If only his parents knew.

_They’d probably treat you the same way… This is what happens when people find out._

The brunet spent the rest of the year preparing for college, where he was sure to keep his secret hidden safely from people who loved to tear others down for no other reason than for who they really were. Given the circumstances, Mark was surprised to receive a letter that he’d gotten accepted in one of South Korea’s best colleges that provided him with the chance to pursue his strange love for mathematics and combine it with volleyball – which he used to be pretty good at.

“New school, new beginning.” At least, that was what his parents had assured him of. The past year had been no less than a nightmare and Mark still wasn’t sure he’d awoken from it. If his gut feeling was anything to go by, this could easily result in an equally painful catastrophe – which was one of the reasons why his parents were opposed to him moving into one of the dorms on campus. It was an hour drive to the campus – which wasn’t that bad – but Mark felt that he had to take matters into his own hands. He’d relied on his parents for so long that he’d almost forgotten what it was like to really have to take care of himself. Granted, he convinced them that this new found freedom would be the perfect environment for him to focus on his studies and become a better son to them.

After settling into his dorm, the days passed pretty quickly. He got most of his books and decided – after skimming some of them in preparation for the first classes – that he was fucked. Not even in the biblical sense. Pity.

During the first few days of classes, Mark was pleasantly surprised to see that people here were entirely different than what he was used to. Most of them weren’t stuck up, like he’d imagined. In fact, the people he’d met so far were turning out to be pretty great. Especially Jinyoung and Youngjae. Although they hardly had any classes together, they spent pretty much all of their free time together. He’d learned that both boys came from equally wealthy families and they shared a musical talent that almost blew Mark away. They both had voices that put nightingales to shame and Youngjae had been playing the piano for over 15 years, making him no less than a musical genius. Late nights were spent in either of their dorms, accompanied by some of Jinyoung’s favorite bottles of wine – which Mark found a tad too expensive for ordinary college students. However, who would be in their right mind to lower themselves to drinking cheap cans of beer? Not Jinyoung. No, Mark’s friends were not stuck up – just picky.

Classes had been going on for a few weeks when, during lunch, a few other boys joined them at their table. Jinyoung and Youngjae both grinned, “Hey guys,” the elder started, “Haven’t seen you in a few days. What’ve you been up to?”

The taller of the two other boys winked, “Stealing hearts, creating havoc, the usual.”

Jinyoung snorted, “Right…” He rolled his eyes before introducing the boys to Mark. “These are Jackson and Jaebum. Youngjae and I have known these idiots since middle school. Our parents go way back. There’s actually two more of us but they won’t be joining us for another two years. They’re still in high school.” Jinyoung explained. “Youngjae would be too, but he finished high school early, smart little fucker.”

“Guys, this is our newest addition, Mark.” Jinyoung gave both boys a knowing look that Mark chose to ignore. The brunet awkwardly waved at the others and received a brilliant eye smile from the boy Jinyoung introduced as Jaebum. Jackson, however seemed to look right through him, his stare intense. Mark felt a shiver crawling its way up his spine and broke eye contact, focusing his attention on Jaebum instead.

“Are you a musical genius too, or what?” Mark laughed airily, watching as Jaebum’s face nearly split in half because of the smile that spread across his features even further.

“I don’t think so,” Jaebum started, but was – quite rudely – interrupted by Jinyoung scoffing.

“Bullshit. Out of the three of us, he’s the best – you’ll find out soon enough, I promise. How do you think he gets so many girls, huh?” Jinyoung smirked, leaning back in his chair and crossing his arms. “He’s the worst, in the best way.” He winked at Jaebum, who in turn rolled his eyes.

“You’ll find that Jinyoung likes to over exaggerate,” Jaebum said. Mark laughed, putting his plate to the side.

“You don’t say.” He remarked, grinning knowingly.

Perhaps this year really was going to be different.

* * *

Most days Mark forgot about his past and mainly focused on his education and the amazing friends he’d made. He didn’t see Jaebum and Jackson very often. Mark had learned that of the group, they were the ones with the busiest social life – constantly attending parties, if not organizing them themselves. He didn’t really care much, since every time he so much as thought of Jackson, there was a weird gnawing in his gut that he’d really rather ignore. He didn’t know what it was. Maybe Jackson resembled one of his former bullies. Maybe it was the intense stare he was always the receiver of whenever Jackson joined them for the occasional “wine tasting” Jinyoung liked to call their binge drinking thousands of dollars’ worth of over-priced wine Jinyoung’s mother had “donated for the good cause of educating youngsters in appreciating good wine”. Really, this woman was too gullible for her own good.

For some reason, Jinyoung had decided to humor Jaebum and attend one of his parties. Which is how Mark found himself standing in Jinyoung’s dorm room, in front of a mirror that covered more than half of one of the walls. Ridiculous. Jinyoung saw it as “his job” to make sure Mark looked perfect for his first party at the dorm. Not that he’d helped much, apart from the fact that he’d styled Mark’s hair to absolute perfection – and even that was only a matter of opinion.

“He looks fine, Jinyoung, what the fuck…” Youngjae groaned, plopping back onto Jinyoung’s bed. The boy had been complaining about being hungry for the past hour and Jinyoung had promised that there’d be pizza at the party, so needless to say the boy was itching to get going. Free food was good food.

Jinyoung sighed and gave Mark a once over. “What do you think?”

“I think I didn’t even need this in the first place, thanks for asking.” Mark huffed.

“Fine, whatever, don’t appreciate my art then, ungrateful shit.” Jinyoung put on a pair of designer glasses and patted himself to check if he had his wallet on him. “Alright, let’s head out.”

Youngjae nearly bolted out of the door and Mark heard the other chuckling at the younger’s behavior. “He’s not really a party hard kind of guy, but if it’s Jaebum hosting, he’s usually pretty stoked.”

Mark smiled as Jinyoung lead him into unknown territory and took a deep breath, preparing himself to just stay low key all night. Now was not the time to ruin everything he’d been working so hard for all semester.

They entered the common room and immediately were surrounded by music blasting from a stereo somewhere in the corner. There were hardly 30 people present, but it made Mark anxious either way. Jinyoung dragged him over to where Jaebum was already stacking pieces of pizza on a paper plate, probably meant to soothe Youngjae’s burning ache for food.

“Hey what’s up guys, glad you could make it! Take whatever you want. If you have any song requests, just tell me, yeah?”

The evening progressed and Mark found himself buzzing pleasantly, having traded the usual wine for some kind of cocktail Jinyoung had expertly thrown together. People started dancing – if dancing was the right way to describe it – grinding was more like it. He found himself snickering as he watched Youngjae awkwardly trying to chat up some girl.

One drink became two, and two became three. After an hour, he’d stopped keeping count and he was starting to question his math skills as he stumbled towards the bathroom. They say you truly know how drunk you are when you’re in the bathroom by yourself. Well—Mark was practically giggling at his own reflection as he passed the mirror, his cheeks reddened slightly from his intake of alcohol. He hummed lowly as he aimed for the toilet and tried all he could not to soil the toilet seat.

He tried.

He washed his hands and returned to the common room, where his stomach dropped at the sight. Jackson was on the – sort-of – dancefloor, grinding against a guy he’d never seen before. He felt like throwing up. There was a fight eminent. There had to be.

To his surprise, nothing happened. No punches were thrown, there were no snide comments, no broken ribs or people crying. Just a room full of happy people, celebrating life.

He should’ve felt happy about this situation, but no – Mark felt dizzy, confused and helpless. He had to get out – get air, get a grip. The brunet stumbled towards Jaebum and shouted over the volume of the music that he wasn’t feeling well and was going to turn in early. Jaebum frowned in concern, but Mark shot him a reassuring smile and made a beeline for the door towards the hallway.

He didn’t know how long it took him to get oriented and find his way back to his own room, but once he did, he face planted into bed and passed out, worries merging into nightmares.

* * *

The next morning was all about painkillers and endless bottles of water to be downed. He slept until well past noon and then dragged himself into the shower, trying to ignore the thoughts racing through his mind. He rubbed at his face in frustration and sighed, turning off the stream of water. Once he’d gotten dressed – sweatpants and a loose T-shirt were considered an actual outfit if you were feeling this miserable – he slowly made his way to Jinyoung’s dorm.

Jinyoung looked worse than death. He reeked of alcohol and had bags under his eyes that were so big they could’ve been designer. If it wasn’t for that, Mark probably would’ve noticed the hickeys earlier.

“Who gave you those?” Mark squinted at the purple and angry red blotches on Jinyoung’s neck.

The younger obviously had no idea what Mark was talking about, since he gave him world’s emptiest stare, “What do you mean? Who gave me what?”

Mark reached out and poked the abused skin.

Jinyoung shrugged him off. “Hey! What—“ Jinyoung turned around and checked his neck in the mirror. “Holy mother of—“

It took Jinyoung two glasses of water, a painkiller and twenty minutes of sobering up to semi-remember what happened the night before. “Okay, so—I remember getting it. I also remember not minding.” He frowned, “I don’t remember who gave it to me though.”

Mark laughed, making Jinyoung wince and a passed-out-on-the-floor Youngjae – who’d crashed on Jinyoung’s spare mattress and was now more hanging off it than lying on it – groan. “Keep it down, will you?”

Youngjae passed out again almost immediately, making Mark jealous. What he’d give to take another nap. It did give Mark the opportunity to talk to Jinyoung without having to deal with Youngjae’s reaction as well.

“I kinda want to ask you something,” Mark started.

Jinyoung groaned, “Whatever it is, make it simple.” The boy crawled back into bed and sat back against his pillow. “Shoot.”

Mark chewed the inside of his cheek in thought. He wanted to bring this as carefully as possible, without pissing off Jinyoung for not getting to the point.

_Fuck it._

“Is Jackson gay?”

Dead silence.

Jinyoung stared at him, calculating.

“Why? Are you interested?”

Mark felt himself turn a deep shade of crimson in a matter of seconds.

“No! No—No, of course not. I was just wondering.” Mark lowered his gaze to eye Jinyoung’s pajamas. His eyes followed the pattern as he counted the seconds that passed in silence.

“No. He’s not.” Came Jinyoung’s response.

_I knew it._

“I don’t think he has a preference.” Jinyoung continued.

_Oh. **Oh**._

 Mark remained silent for a while, and Jinyoung didn’t stop looking at him like he knew something he wasn’t keen on sharing.

“Do you have a problem with that, or…?” Jinyoung asked.

“No! I’m not homophobic, Jinyoung. It’s just that I saw him dancing yesterday – with some guy and I was just wondering.” He shrugged.

The younger nodded, “Jackson’s like that at parties, but they’re just friends. Jackson doesn’t fall easily, I think. For an extroverted dork like Jackson, he’s pretty reserved about his love life, so…”

Mark took it all in, processing the information with a very hungover set of brains.

“How do people perceive him? I mean… I’ve heard about people getting in trouble once they’re— _out_.”

Jinyoung took a moment and sighed. “I can’t speak for everyone, but I’ve heard people here are pretty chill about it.” He looked up at him and shot him a meaningful look. “Maybe—Maybe the people you know got in trouble were just surrounded by the wrong people. Maybe they don’t know what it’s like to be surrounded by people who care about them regardless.”

Mark swallowed the lump in his throat and licked his lips. “It’s good to know people are like that here. Jackson must be pretty happy about that.” He nodded, trying to re-focus Jinyoung’s attention on Jackson.

Jinyoung smiled knowingly, “People have always supported him, though. I made sure they did.”

The brunet looked up and paused for a moment before a warm smile spread across his features.

“You’re a good friend, Jinyoung.” He stated.

The younger hummed, nodding, “I know.” He winked, “Not just to Jackson, though. Keep that in mind.”

They sat there for quite some time, talking about everything and anything. He learned that Jackson was an extremely good fencer, something Mark admired profusely.

Somewhere during the conversation, Mark made up his mind to actually get to know Jackson. If he was this close to Jinyoung, he couldn’t not be a great person. Jinyoung gave him that much credit. Mark ended up actually looking forward to doing something with the _entire_ group and started brainstorming with Jinyoung on what they could do that involved a little less alcohol. In the end, he was pretty proud of what they came up with.

* * *

It took them a while to get everyone together, since most of them were dealing with a pretty decent hangover but once they did, they were set. They met up at eight in the evening and gathered on the field behind the college’s buildings. Jinyoung had brought snacks and energy drinks while Mark had brought a blanket – Jinyoung appeared to be less than fond of bugs.

They sat there for a few hours, watching the sun set and the stars appear one by one. Most of the time they were chattering about the party, but they fell silent as the moon lit the entire field with a soft silver hue.

Jackson came to sit next to Mark and for the first time Mark didn’t mind. He looked at the younger and let a warm smile take over his features.

The younger lay down on the blanket, hands tucked behind his head as he got comfortable. Mark decided to join him and looked up at the sky, a sense of tranquility he’d not known for a very long time setting over them like a securing blanket. They hardly noticed anything as the other three boys started talking about something Mark had no idea about, and relaxed against the soft fleece beneath them.

“I heard you’re a pretty good fencer,” Mark started, catching Jackson’s full attention. The warm smile on Jackson’s face turned into a shit eating grin.

“I guess you could say that, sure. Who told you?”

They rolled into a conversation that completely overthrew Mark’s first impression of the younger. Jackson told him about his family being in Hong Kong to run the family business and Mark felt bad for him, knowing he missed his own family so much while they were only an hour away from campus. He couldn’t begin to imagine what it would be like if his family lived abroad.

Jackson turned out to be incredibly witty, making Mark laugh with every story that rolled off his tongue in accented Korean.

“What about you, though? What’s your story?” Jackson’s voice was soft and Mark could sense he wasn’t trying to pry.

“There’s nothing much to tell you, really.” Mark hesitated, “There was—There was a time when things were tough for me, but since I came here, I—I’ve never been so happy.”

The younger grinned, “You’re welcome.”

Mark punched him in the arm and chuckled. “You’re the absolute worst, I hope you realize that.”

Jackson scoffed and rolled his eyes, “Yeah, Jinyoung makes sure to remind me daily, thanks for asking.”

They fell silent for a moment and Jackson licked his lips, seemingly lost in thought. “I—uh, I know it’s none of my business, but do you feel like you can be yourself now—here? With us, I mean?”

The brunet didn’t really understand where this was coming from, but took it as a serious question. “Yes, I think I do.” He nodded.

Jackson smiled, “That’s good, cause – I mean, you can trust us, you know?”

“Where are you going with this?” Mark asked, “I mean, I really appreciate it, but you’re kind of freaking me out right now.” The elder shifted a little on the blanket and smiled sheepishly as he rolled onto his stomach, watching Jackson intently.

“I’m sorry,” Jackson chuckled, “And please don’t be mad—it’s just that Jinyoung told me he was worried about you and—“

Mark looked over his shoulder, watching the three other boys discussing some Instagram post a celebrity probably shouldn’t have made. Feeling his stomach twist uncomfortably, he sighed, hoping this conversation wasn’t going where he thought it was.

“Whatever Jinyoung told you, I’m sure—“

“No, please,” Jackson frowned, “Don’t misunderstand. He didn’t tell me anything weird, just that he was concerned.” This reassured Mark a little and he nodded quietly, looking everywhere but directly at Jackson.

“Look, I’m not great at this sappy stuff,” Jackson admitted, “I’m just saying that you don’t have to be afraid to tell us. We don’t judge, and we won’t let anything happen to you, alright?”

Mark gulped. Did they know? Did they all know?

“Tell you what?”

Jackson sighed, “You _know_ what.” He shrugged, “It’s up to you to decide, though. We won’t force you. Do what makes you feel happiest, yeah? Be proud of who you are.” The younger threw him an encouraging smile and rolled back until he was facing the sky once more, closing his eyes.

The brunet chewed his bottom lip, the other boy’s words repeating in his head – over and over again. Proud? Mark laughed mentally. That’d be a first. He looked over at the boys and smiled fondly. Jaebum was dancing to some music, his moves overly dramatic as mouthed the lyrics as Jinyoung and Youngjae were nearly driven to tears as they laughed at the other boy’s performance. Maybe Jackson was right. Maybe he’d finally found a place where he could be who he really was – somewhere he didn’t have to hide.

When the temperature started dropping, the boys walked back to the building. Jinyoung, Youngjae and Jaebum were about to enter the building when they noticed Mark and Jackson hadn’t joined them.

“Hey, you guys coming or what?” Jaebum cocked an eyebrow.

Sassy.

“You guys go ahead, I’ll text you tomorrow,” Mark said, “I just need to talk to Jackson about something.”

The boys just stared at them for a moment, calculating. Luckily, Jinyoung slung his arms across the boys’ shoulders, “Alright, text you tomorrow buddy! Let’s get going, bitches.”

Jackson snorted, watching them enter the building before focusing his attention on Mark.

“Look, I’m sorry if I freaked you out—“ Jackson started.

“No,” The brunet smiled, “You were right. My life’s completely different now. I suppose I’m still just scared of the consequences.”

Jackson nodded in understanding and sighed, “Look, I never went through any shit when I—when I told people. I know I’m a lucky bastard, alright? But it can be like that for you, too, if you let us be there for you.”

Mark smiled incredulously, he couldn’t believe he was actually considering this. “Yeah, I think—I think you’re right.” He nodded. “I just—yeah, it’ll be fine, right?”

The younger sighed as if relieved and nodded. “It will be.”

Mark leaned in, hesitating for a moment before planting a quick kiss to Jackson’s cheek. “Thanks, for everything.” He then retreated back towards the building, leaving a wide-eyed Jackson behind on the field.

It was going to be hell, telling his parents and explaining about the bullying. There was going to be tears and maybe even some yelling. He knew his mother would be mad. Not for coming out, but for keeping all of this from her for such a long time.

* * *

The next morning, Mark woke up and anxiety knotted his gut. With shaking hands, Mark gripped his phone between his delicate fingers. He calmed his breathing and licked his chapped lips, going over the words again before he dialed the house phone number.

“Mom? Hey, it’s me.”

“No, I’m fine, mom. Is dad there?”

“Can you put me on speaker? I need to talk to you guys.”

There were tears, but no yelling. His mother had mostly been mad that people were so prejudiced they’d treat her son like garbage. Mark’s father had merely made a joke about him at least not getting some college girl pregnant now.

The brunet had cried, thanking his parents for being there for him, and for taking it so well. He assured them he would let them know if anyone gave him a hard time because of it and told them he loved them. There really wasn’t more to it, and Mark felt the weight lifting off his shoulders. He cursed himself for not doing this any sooner. Finally, he was ready to face the world.

Coming out to the group was actually a lot harder than he thought it’d be. They were sitting in a semi-circle around him, waiting for the reason why Mark had asked them to come over. Jackson looked a little distant, looking at Mark but it felt more like the day they first met, like he was looking straight through him.

Mark bit his lower lip and cleared his throat.

“I’m gay.”

Mark was sure he just entered an entirely different world. Turns out, the only one in the group that was 700% straight, was Youngjae. The revelation sent Mark to his mattress, wailing with laughter.

His laughter faded quickly, however, as he feigned offense. “Wait, did you guys recruit me or something?”

Jinyoung winked. “We know where to find our members, pretty boy. In all seriousness though, I’m really happy you finally made the decision to come out. Did you talk to your parents yet?”

Mark nodded, smiling warmly, “Yeah, they’re cool with it. I’m still kind of nervous, though…” He sighed. It was one thing for his friends to be okay with it, but that didn’t mean the rest of the school would be.

“No need, really. Trust me, you’ll be fine.” Jinyoung pursed his lips and hummed, “I feel like if you’re really going to be out and proud, you need a bit of a makeover, though.”

The brunet groaned. “Do I have to?”

Jaebum, however, had an entirely different approach. “What about we just dye his hair?”

“Ooh—how about red?” Youngjae suggested.

“Do I get to choose anything or…?” Mark cocked an eyebrow.

“No,” came the three-headed reply.

Jackson was just sitting there, quietly enjoying the scene in front of him.

“Alright, you guys have fun ruining his hair, I’m gonna go. I have fencing practice in about half an hour. Keep me updated on snapchat, yeah?” Jackson said before getting up and out, waving at the plotting trio and a very anxious Mark.

“Please don’t ruin my hair.” The brunette whimpered.

* * *

“I swear to god, Jinyoung, if grow bald, I’ll cut off your balls and staple them to your neck.” Mark huffed. Jinyoung had hung a sheet over the mirror so Mark couldn’t see the end result just yet.

Not only had Jinyoung dyed his hair, he’d also cut it a little – and not knowing what was happening was keeping Mark on edge. If Youngjae and Jaebum’s reactions were anything to go by, however, he didn’t think he looked that bad. The two boys were sitting on Jinyoung’s bed, watching the scene in front of them with approval etched onto their features.

“Please tell me he’s not ruining me, guys.” Mark whined.

“Don’t worry,” Jaebum said, “You look amazing.”

“Alright, I think you’re good to go.” Jinyoung smirked, stepping back towards the mirror. Mark stood and walked towards the covered piece of furniture. When Jinyoung pulled away the sheet, time stopped for Mark. His jaw dropped.

“What the actual fuck.”

He leaned forward and checked his new hair, smiling brightly at the result.

“You like it?” Jinyoung was bouncing on his feet, anxious to know what Mark thought.

“Like it? I love it. Thanks Jinyoung!” Mark covered his face-splitting smile with his hand in disbelief and shook his head. “Looks pretty good, huh?” He turned towards the other boys and Jaebum whistled.

“Yeah, I think that’ll get the message out pretty quickly.” Jaebum snickered, causing Youngjae to hit him in the face with a pillow.

“You look great, hyung.” He gave Mark a thumbs up. “You should show Jackson soon!”

Jinyoung handed Mark his phone. “Here, send him a selfie.”

Mark did as he was asked, winking at the camera and sending the snap to Jackson. Said snap was screenshotted a few minutes later.

* * *

Word got around pretty quickly the week after Mark came out. His new look made him much more noticeable, which caused many people to speculate about his sexuality. Since Mark didn’t really mind people knowing anymore, he just told them, holding his breath and bracing himself every time he did so – just in case.

When he didn’t get any negative reactions whatsoever, he was pretty much blown away by people’s mentality in college. Was it really that much of a difference? If anyone spoke badly of him, Mark didn’t notice. Maybe there were just so many good experiences with coming out that he failed to see the negativity.

By Friday, he’d gotten numerous invitations to parties all over the campus dormitory building. After a short discussion with the rest of the group, they decided on which one to attend.

Friday night came around and Mark quickly found himself doing shots with Jinyoung and Jaebum, buzzing by the time people started filling the make shift dance floor.

“Hey,”

Mark jumped, turning to see Jackson smiling at him, a mischievous twinkle in his eyes.

“Jackson! Haven’t seen you all week, where’ve you been?” Mark raised his eyebrows, curious.

“I’ve been practicing after classes pretty much every single day now. There’s a national tournament coming up and I’m trying to get my team in the finals, so…” He explained.

“I see,” Mark nodded, “But now you can relax a little, right?”

Jackson’s grin grew, “Yeah. About that—wanna dance?” He winked.

The redhead pursed his lips and hummed, “Do I wanna, though? Heard you’re pretty shitty,” he joked.

He’d seen Jackson dancing, he knew he was good. Jackson scoffed.

“Pretty shitty? Well you shouldn’t believe everything they say about me, Markiepooh.” He smirked, “How about I prove ‘em wrong, hmm?”

Mark nodded. “Sure, if you think you can.” He wiggled his eyebrows, making the younger chuckle.

“Alright, let me just go to the bathroom real quick and I’m all yours.” Jackson disappeared with a grin, leaving the redhead with his three other friends.

Jinyoung offered him another shot. “You’re gonna need this if you think dancing with Jackson is a good idea.” Mark rolled his eyes and took the shot.

A few other guys were standing next to their little group and one of them joined them, apparently Jaebum was faintly acquainted with him. The guy suddenly turned to Mark.

“Hey, you wanna dance?” The guy looked like he’d had a few shots more than they had, but he had a friendly appearance nonetheless.

“I’m sorry,” Mark answered, “I’m actually waiting for a friend – promised him I’d dance with him first.”

“Your friend’s not here, though – is he?” He guy went on, “Come on, just one dance – just until your friend’s back, huh? What do you say?”

Mark gave Jinyoung and Jaebum a look, but they just shrugged. Could it hurt? He smiled shyly at the guy and nodded. “Okay, sure, I guess.”

 The dance floor was crowded, people either taking up too much space with bizarre dance moves or people grinding on each other, making Mark blush at the sight. He was sure the guy that was supposed to be dancing with him was somewhere in front of him, but Mark lost sight of him. Seeing as he was on the dance floor anyway, Mark started swaying to the beat, dancing by himself and generally feeling the song that was on.

Suddenly he felt a pair of hands on his hips, pulling him back. The boy that asked him to dance was holding him close to his own body. Somewhere along those first few seconds, Mark started getting extremely uncomfortable. He awkwardly wiggled out of the boy’s hands and turned around, smiling sheepishly.

“What’s wrong? Don’t you wanna dance with me?” The boy frowned.

“I—sure I do, just—not like that.” He gulped, looking down.

The next moment, the boy was holding him close again and Mark closed his eyes instinctively.

“Why not? Afraid you won’t be able to hold back?” Mark could feel the other’s breath ghosting over his lips and he froze.

Before Mark could register what was happening, the guy in front of him was torn away. Mark opened his eyes to see the guy on the floor with Jackson on top of him, ready to throw a punch.

“He said no, asswipe!” Jackson was livid, screaming at the guy trying to keep from getting hit in the face. Mark sank to his knees and closed his hands around Jackson’s fist. The younger looked up, his features softening at the sight of the redhead looking straight at him.

“Don’t – Jackson, please.” Mark pleaded, desperation clear in his eyes.

Jackson got off the guy and threw him a nasty look. “You ever so much as lay a finger on him and I’ll make Christmas ornaments out of your testicles, get it?”

Mark reached out and intertwined his fingers with Jackson’s. This stole Jackson’s attention completely.

“Let’s just go, Jackson, please.” Mark chewed his bottom lip and gulped. Jackson followed him out of the crowd and towards Jaebum and Jinyoung, who were more than concerned about what had happened.

“Mark! Did he hurt you? What happened?” Jinyoung was frantic, his hands resting on Mark’s shoulders and looking for any sign that the redhead had been molested.

“Jaebum, you keep an eye on your friend, yeah?” Jackson still seemed distressed. Jaebum nodded.

“Sure, I don’t think he’ll be staying much longer anyway, looks like he’s had more than enough to drink. I’ll take him to his room.” Jaebum sighed and walked off towards his friend, who had just gotten up from the floor.

“I need a drink”, Jackson stated.

Jinyoung linked his arm through Mark’s and smiled reassuringly, “I’ll stay with Mark, no worries.”

Jackson offered him a small smile and reluctantly untangled his fingers from Mark’s, who was staring blankly into the crowd. That was by far the weirdest situation he’d ever been in.

“Hyung, are you okay?” Jinyoung’s eyes were swimming with concern. Mark could tell he also didn’t really know how to handle this situation.

“Yeah, it was just weird. I didn’t expect—all of that, I guess.”

Jinyoung nodded. “I know. Jackson—he doesn’t really ever fight though, if that’s what you’re worried about. He’s just really protective.”

Mark nodded, “Yeah, no—it was just weird seeing him like that. Do you think he’s okay? You don’t think he’s mad at me, do you?”

“No, I don’t think so. I mean—it’s Jackson, you know?” Jinyoung smiled at him, but there was something in his features that told Mark – Jinyoung was sugarcoating.

Mark smiled back at him and sighed, “I think I’m just gonna go, you know? I had a pretty good time up until—well, yeah—. I’ll just head back and get started on my paper or whatever.” He untangled himself from Jinyoung and saw the defeat in the other’s face. “Don’t worry, Jireongie, I’ll be fine.” Mark grinned, trying to reassure the younger. The redhead then turned on his heel and made his way through the crowd and towards his room.

* * *

He refused to take a shower when he got to his room, liking the way his hair was styled a tad too much to undo all of Jinyoung’s efforts. Mark contemplated about just going to bed, but the goody two shoes in him forced him to sit down at his desk and do what he said he would.

The redhead was halfway through his third paragraph when there was a knock at the door. Reluctantly, he got up and stretched his neck before opening the door. A distressed looking Jaebum was standing there, looking just about ready to tell Mark his puppy had died.

“You haven’t seen Jackson, have you?”

Mark frowned, shaking his head, “Not since he left to get a drink at a party, but that was two hours ago. Why?”

Jaebum bounced on his feet a little and sighed. “Someone told me he crashed another party and got so drunk they threw him out. Nobody knows where the hell he is and I don’t think he even brought his cell phone since he lost it at a party once. He never takes his new one to parties now.”

By the end of Jaebum’s explanation, Mark had already shrugged on a slightly oversized sweater and shoved his feet into the first pair of sneakers he had lying around.

“Alright, fuck—umm, let’s just split up, yeah? I’ll look through this part of the building, you take the bottom floors, yeah?” Mark patted himself down to see if he had his phone on him and locked the door behind them once they’d stepped out of the room and into the hallway. I’ll text you once I’ve found him.

Jaebum nodded and bolted for the staircase, leaving Mark alone in the silent hallway.

“Damn it, Jackson—where the fuck are you?”

After about twenty minutes, Mark searched the floor where Jackson’s dorm room was for the second time and frantically knocked on the younger’s door. “Jacks, are you in there?”

The door swung open, revealing a half-naked Jackson. He smelled like a musky body wash he’d once owned and had water droplets trickling down the expanse of his neck and torso. Mark followed one of the droplets until it disappeared into the younger’s happy trail and down the front of the boy’s shorts. The redhead gulped and tore his gaze up to the other’s face.

“Are you okay?” Mark’s voice trembled. He made a mental note to text Jaebum – once he’d learned to focus on anything other than the current situation.

“Are you?” Jackson cocked an eyebrow.

Mark felt his face flush. “Yeah, I’m fine. Jaebum—he told me you’d gotten in trouble.”

Jackson snorted, “Yeah, tonight’s really my lucky night. No worries, I’m doing just great.”

The younger looked pretty sober to Mark. “A-Are you sure? Is there anything I can do?”

Jackson looked at him intently and then opened the door a little further, letting the elder in. Mark followed Jackson into the room and took a seat on his bed.

“I just—” Jackson started, “I just keep imagining what would’ve happened if I hadn’t intervened.”

Mark reached out and rested his hand on top of Jackson’s, “Jacks, it’s not your job to protect me.” He gave the younger a reassuring smile and lightly squeezed his hand.

Jackson’s heavy gaze made goosebumps form on Mark’s skin.

“I guess I just care too much, huh?” Jackson smirked dryly and focused on the floor.

Not much was said after that. Mark didn’t know what to make of Jackson’s words. The younger walked him back to his room and said goodnight, but Mark quickly grabbed his hand again and leaned in, pressing a kiss to Jackson’s cheek.

“Thank you, for everything.”

* * *

Winter vacation finally rolled in and Jinyoung invited Mark to celebrate the end of the year at his place. After coming up with some convincing arguments, his parents had let him.

It took them three hours in Jinyoung’s – get this – _limousine_ , but eventually they arrived there a little after noon, an enormous driveway leading to a mansion Mark never expected to be owned by – well, honestly, not by someone like Jinyoung. He knew the guy was fairly wealthy, but this was just too much.

They were lead to their very own rooms, shown their private bathrooms and given instructions for the evening dress code. Mark was lucky he fit into some of Jinyoung’s suits, because he’d not really taken into account the fact that he’d had to dress up like this.

Jinyoung’s parents were lovely, though. For rich people, they were surprisingly down to earth. After dinner, they welcomed BamBam and Yugyeom, who were every bit as sassy as Jinyoung, if not worse. They were all over Mark, idolizing him in every way and complimenting Jinyoung on the great hair-job he’d done.

They all sat together in Jinyoung’s room – which, by the way, was larger than each of their student dorms combined – and talked about the youngest boys’ year so far. There was lots of whining, Bambam proclaiming how much he missed the others and how it just wasn’t the same.

After hearing how the boys had all been doing, they decided to play games. Jaebum’s mother called so the boy excused himself for a moment, after which the two youngest immediately overwhelmed Jinyoung with questions. Mark frowned.

“Whoah, wait—What? What are you talking about?” Mark asked.

The room fell silent and suddenly there were five pairs of eyes on him.

“Wow, you’re really dense, aren’t you?” BamBam stated more than asked.

“Excuse me?” Mark’s eyes widened.

“Jinyoung and Jaebum are a thing.” Yugyeom stated and then focused back on Jinyoung, ready to project another onslaught of questions in Jinyoung’s general direction.

Mark’s jaw dropped. “You what?”

Jinyoung promptly turned a deep shade of crimson that stretched back to his neck and he cleared his throat. “We’ve been messing around for a few months now, but—Jaebum’s pretty stubborn about becoming official. And I was totally cool with that, at first. Just—we kind of – did it. Like, a few weeks ago. So… Things changed—for me at least.”

The room was completely silent, everyone staring at Jinyoung until a five-headed “Why didn’t you tell me?!” filled the room.

“I just—It was after Mark’s first party. We got pretty drunk after Mark went to bed and he took me back to his dorm and—well, stuff happened. Mark saw the hickeys, but I couldn’t say anything. Jaebum didn’t want it to be a big deal.” Jinyoung pursed his lips, “Needless to say we’ve not—you know, ever since. Since I want it to be a real thing and not just a fling. So after we did it I kind of just left and picked up Youngjae from the common room and carried his drunk ass to my place so I could keep an eye on him.”

Youngjae scoffed, “You left me in common room? I can’t believe you left me there, what if I got raped?”

“Youngjae,” Jackson interrupted, his face comically serious, “Nobody wants your crusty ass.”

The room filled with laughter until Yugyeom regained enough air to form a decent sentence. “Hyung, what are you gonna do now?”

“What do you mean, “what is he going to do”, just use your brain, hyung! Set a trap and make it official!” Bambam interjected.

“His brain?” Jackson chuckled, “Jinyoung-ah, use your ass, make ‘em beg for it. You know how he is. Either way, he won’t be able to resist, he likes you too much to reject you.”

They would’ve gone on about it, but Jaebum returned, having ended his phone call. He sat next to Mark, who threw him a dirty look.

“What?” Jaebum asked, cocking an eyebrow.

“You’re an ass.” Mark simply stated, making everyone burst out into laughter. Jaebum, however, was lost.

“Well I—I suppose I am, sometimes.” He grinned, not sure if he followed. “Anyway, what are we playing?”

* * *

They played a game of truth or dare, resulting in Jaebum having to run naked through the mansion and back and Jackson and Youngjae having to try to get a kiss from one of the maids. Bambam dressed up in a dress and heels that belonged to Jinyoung’s mother and Mark and Jinyoung had to dance to “Wiggle Wiggle” by Hello Venus, twerking included.

After a long night of drinking and playing, they just collected all of the down comforters and pillows they could find, and made a sort of fort so they could all sleep in the same room – Jinyoung’s room was big enough anyway. Talking turned to whispering and whispering turned to snoring. Mark fell into a wonderful, dreamless sleep – something he hadn’t experienced in a long while.

* * *

It was still dark in the room when Mark opened his eyes for the first time that morning. He felt warm, comfortable and ready to pass out again, if it hadn’t been for the arm that was snugly wrapped around him. He gulped, blinking as his eyes adapted to the darkness surrounding him. The redhead carefully turned his head, his eyes widening as he found a sleeping Jackson Wang curled against him, holding him like a baby koala would hold its mother. Mark sank his teeth into his bottom lip and relaxed, causing Jackson to stir behind him. The younger shifted closer to Mark’s warmth and nuzzled against the back of his neck. Feeling Jackson’s breath against his neck, he shuddered and licked his lips, closing his eyes as he willed the warm feeling in his chest to subside.

Sleep took him once more.

The second time he was semi-awake, there was a lot more light in the room. He heard people shifting all around him, but Mark wasn’t conscious enough to realize why. He shifted forward, welcoming the source of heat in front of him. The redhead nuzzled further against Jackson’s neck, tucking his head away from the light as he pulled the boy’s torso closer to him, entangling their legs for extra comfort. He sighed in delight, not aware of the sight he was creating for five boys. The sixth, Jackson, was pretending to be equally amused. He, however, was trying to control the beating of his heart, wishing the boy would stay like that forever. Turns out—everyone has their secrets.

“Just go,” Jackson mouthed to the others, “I’ll catch up with you.”

The others humored him, exchanging meaningful looks as they left the room. Jackson let out a shuddered breath and licked his lips, leaning in to press a soft kiss to the top of Mark’s head. The motion made Mark stir, and Jackson closed his eyes. Evening out his breathing, Jackson pretended to sleep as the redhead slowly awoke.

Mark felt dizzy, mere moments after he’d gained full consciousness, he’d almost bolted from the room. Said room was empty except for the sleeping boy next to him. A deep pink spread across Mark’s cheeks and he swallowed a lump in his throat. He’d slept wonderfully, and briefly wondered if Jackson sleeping next to him had anything to do with it.

He looked at the boy lying next to him and sighed. Mark was foolish to think Jackson would’ve actually liked waking up like that. Good thing he woke up first. But fuck, it was hard not to think about what could’ve happened.

He needed to find a bathroom. Now.

Mark practically melted against the cold tiles of the shower, his breathing already uneven at the thoughts racing through his mind from the minute he left the room. He tilted his head back against the wall and reached out for some body wash, squeezing a decent amount into the palm of his hand before he reached down and coated his length with it. The warm water helped slicken him up and soon enough he was lazily pumping the pulsing shaft.

“Fuck.”

Image after image floated beneath closed eyes. His hand was replaced by Jackson’s and soon he could almost feel it. Could almost feel Jackson’s lips at the back on his neck again, labored breath against his shoulder as one of Jackson’s hands traveled down his torso and up again, pinching an pink nub and forcing a whimper from the redhead’s lips. Mark reached back, teasing his entrance as he milked himself, already giving into the heat that coiled low in his abdomen. He squeezed his eyes shut and breathed Jackson’s name, the name sinfully delicious on his tongue.

Coming down from his high, Mark turned the water from hot to cold and waited until he woke up fully. Realization struck him and he no longer denied whatever he had been ignoring since the start of the year. Jackson Wang was ruining him from the inside out. Mark was fucked.

* * *

They spent the day eating and playing video games, something Mark was silently grateful for since he still felt like he was in a daze. He didn’t dare to meet Jackson’s stare, but he felt it burning against the side of his face every time they weren’t supposed to focus on whatever they were playing. He felt it there all the time, and Mark didn’t know if he hated it or craved more of it – all of it.

“So,” Jinyoung started, “Do you guys just want to sleep in here tonight or do you want to sleep in your own rooms?”

Yugyeom whined, “Hyung – no offense, but your house is really creepy and I hate sleeping alone here. Can we please just bunk out here?”

They all laughed and Yugyeom’s cuteness. For a tall 18 year-old, he was a pretty big baby. This, of course, did mean that whatever happened that caused Mark to wake up in a bundle of happin—horror, definitely horror, was bound to happen again.

* * *

That night, when all the lights were out and Jaebum and Youngjae filled the room with their snoring, Mark couldn’t sleep at all. He felt Jackson’s body heat radiating behind him, too close and not close enough. He craved what wasn’t his and it drove Mark insane. He almost wished they’d decided to sleep in their own rooms, however—what he had now was something, better than nothing at all.

The person next to him, Jackson, wasn’t getting any sleep either. Whenever he suffered from insomnia, he’d be tossing and turning, but since Mark was sleeping next to him, he didn’t want to disturb the boy’s slumber. Jackson licked his lips and turned onto his side, facing Mark. Turning made him that much closer to the redhead, so he held his breath and carefully – feeling his hart hammer against his ribcage – reached over and curled an arm around the boy’s torso.

Mark held his breath as he felt the muscular arm holding him and only released the breath once he thought he heard Jackson’s regular breathing behind him. He couldn’t believe his luck and prayed to whoever would listen that Jackson wouldn’t wake up and be grossed out.

The redhead waited twenty minutes, he counted, because _obviously_ twenty minutes would be enough to ensure that Jackson was fast asleep, right? Mark slowly turned around in Jackson’s hold and shifted closer, close enough so he could fit his face right into the crook of Jackson’s neck. He carefully reached out and slid his hand onto Jackson’s torso, feeling Jackson’s heartbeat. What struck him was how fast it was going. Mark felt disgusting, forcing himself onto Jackson like this, but it was all he could do not to go insane. The boy gulped and closed his eyes, relaxing in his little bundle of Jackson. He drifted off straight away, like lying awake at night had never been an issue.

Jackson’s heart was hammering away more than ever as the boy crawled into his embrace. The feeling of the boy’s uneven breath against his neck was a good enough indication that this wonderfully incredible, beautiful creature was awake. He was doing this – knowingly!

Instead of panicking, Jackson decided to stay awake as long as he could and indulge in the feeling, because maybe this was all just a dream. Either way, Jackson was going to enjoy this for as long as he could. Sleep was a traitor, however. Mark cured his insomnia and sent him off to dreamland a mere five minutes later.

* * *

The third day at the house was terrifyingly similar to the previous, but Mark figured they deserved a break from the stress college brought along. They did go for a swim in Jinyoung’s indoor pool, which did nothing to cool Mark’s nerves. Seeing Jackson in nothing but swimming shorts short-circuited his mind and he almost forgot how to swim – the gulp of chlorine filled water he had to down because of it not exactly his favorite part of the day.

After their little swimming adventures, they all went to take a shower. However, Jinyoung knew fully well how long Jaebum took in the bathroom, so he called the others to his room and fidgeted as he stood in front of them. “Umm guys, would it be okay if we just slept in our own rooms tonight?”

Bambam gasped, “Oh my god, hyung! Did you have a breakthrough with Jaebum-hyung?”

Jinyoung cleared his throat and hummed, “Not exactly, but I’m kind of planning on it though, so—I think it’d be best if we just—you know, for privacy’s sake.”

Jackson’s stomach plummeted. Jinyoung wasn’t the only one with plans tonight. If tonight had been anything like the previous, Jackson would’ve shown Mark he wasn’t alone in enjoying their nightly cuddle sessions. But now all of that seemed to fall to pieces. He sighed, smiling happily for Jinyoung. At least someone was getting what he wanted.

Mark was pissed off for the rest of the day, though he tried not to show it too much. He generally just kept to himself, wishing there was a way for him to sleep anywhere near Jackson that night.

* * *

Day gave way to night and Mark was sitting up against his pillow, his room dimly lit by the lamp on his bedside table.

He was scrolling through his snapchat story feed and yawned, stretching lightly as he heard a knock on the door. Mark sighed and flung his phone onto the bedside table.

“Come in, the door’s unlocked.”

In came a rather hesitant looking Jackson and Mark’s heart skipped a beat and the thought of them being alone. With a bed – obviously.

Jackson tried to look nonchalant, he really did, but failed horribly. He cleared his throat and looked anywhere but at Mark. “I was thinking—Yugyeom was right, you know? I mean—this place is creepy as fuck, so maybe we should just, you know—sleep with each other, together I mean – in this room.” The younger rambled and Mark had to bite his lips not to burst out in laughter.

“Right,” the redhead started, not really sure if Jackson was really that much of a pussy – the house really wasn’t that bad. “I guess that’d be alright,” Mark continued, his brain creating a plan to take the piss out of Jackson a little.

He scooted over to the middle of the bed and patted the empty spot next to him. Jackson climbed in next to him, but seeing as Mark had claimed most of the bed, he hardly had enough space to lie down comfortably.

“Can you scoot over just a little more?” Jackson’s features took on a shit eating grin, which usually helped him get whatever the hell he wanted from most people. Mark obliged, scooting over the tiniest bit and settling down against the mattress. Jackson cocked an eyebrow.

“Really now? That’s all you’re giving me to work with? Come on now, fatty, you can do better.”

Mark scoffed, feigning offense. “How much space do you need, dude?” He clicked his tongue and rolled his eyes, enjoying their little game.

Jackson lowered himself onto the mattress, his face taking a serious expression now as he gazed at Mark and hummed. “That depends, really,” he started, “Care to scoot a little closer, like last night?”

Mark froze, feeling his body temperature plummet and then go through the roof. He gulped, slowly turning his head towards the younger boy. “W-What?”

Jackson just looked at Mark, gazed into his eyes and Mark understood what he’d first thought was Jackson looking right through him, was Jackson looking straight past the surface and right into the deepest of his desires. Something clicked.

The redhead nodded. Simple as that. He didn’t have the voice to word anything just yet, and it seemed that Jackson was okay with that. Jackson simply sat up and removed his jeans and his shirt, flung them onto the floor and turned off the light, leaving them in the darkness he’d become so fond of in the last few days.

They quickly found their way into each other’s embrace and right then and there, they both felt like it couldn’t get any better than this.

* * *

For the rest of their stay, they slept like that every night – their new found little habit becoming the highlight of their day. It showed, too. The others were starting to give each other meaningful looks whenever Mark and Jackson were in close proximity of each other – not that they really cared. It was just that they didn’t want this to become a big thing before they’d had a decent talk about what exactly this was. The two boys almost sympathized with Jaebum for that exact reason.

The thing was, Jackson and Mark never said a word whenever the lights went out. It was just them in their little bubble, without anyone’s interference. They didn’t talk about what ifs, didn’t mind what was happening in the world outside of Mark’s bedroom door. It was just them, and even though they knew it couldn’t last forever, they enjoyed it like it would.

Getting back into the routine of going to class and – more importantly – sleeping by themselves, made the boys go through hell and back. Mark was exhausted, he couldn’t seem to be getting any sleep, going on one or two hours of sleep every day.

He struggled to keep his grades up and fell asleep instantly when he laid his head on the desk during class. Funny how such a hard surface become more sleep inducing than his soft, warm, perfect bed.

“Mark-ssi,” One of his professors had approached him after class, “I’m well aware that you’re a grade A student, but if I catch you sleeping in my class one more time, don’t bother stepping one foot in this room for the rest of your academic days.”

Mark felt bad, not knowing how to set this straight, and rushed back to his dorm. He locked himself there for the rest of the day, ignoring the texts he got from Youngjae and Jinyoung.

* * *

He didn’t get any sleep that night either, his eyes rimmed with tears as he fought to ignore a pounding headache. When he got up the next morning, he dressed himself and avoided all mirrors as much as possible. He could feel the bags under his eyes, a heavy reminder of what – or who – he was missing.

On his way down to the other building, Mark bumped into someone whose face he hadn’t seen in a while. The guy he’d “danced” with at the party, was looking at him wide-eyed, his face burning with what Mark figured was embarrassment.

“M-Mark, hey—“ The boy stammered, leaving Mark to secretly wish the boy would just bolt so he could move on with this increasingly tiring day.

“Look, I’m really sorry for what happened a few weeks ago – I tried to get Jaebum to give me your number, but he refused, so—I couldn’t apologize to you, you know? I wanted to, really—“

Oh boy, here goes…

“I really like you, you know? You’re like the best looking guy in school – and, well I think we’d be really great together.”

Well shit.

“Look, whatever your name is, since you didn’t even have the decency to introduce yourself –“ Mark started – clearly agitated, “I’m really flattered that my looks are the main reason for you to confess to me, even though there’s a little more to me than just my hair and face, thank you very much – I’m not really in the mood for this. I don’t think it’s gonna work out, sorry. You shouldn’t waste your time on me any longer, I’m sure there are lots of other “good looking” people here, so go find yourself one of those. Have a nice day”

His words were just laced with as much sarcasm as he could muster, but Mark’s mood was just getting worse and worse and he needed to get out of there, now – before he said something he would actually regret. He turned on his heel, determined to make a beeline for the main building.

“Is it Jackson?”

Mark stopped in his tracks and tightened his jaw, slowly turning around to throw the other the meanest death glare he’d ever produced.

“What does he have that I don’t, huh?” The other was clearly offended, standing his ground as he stuffed his hands down into his pockets.

“Look, buddy,” Mark hissed, “Even though it’s none of your business, yes—Jackson is more of a man than you’ll ever be, and if you ever wonder why that is, you need to take a good hard look in the mirror and ask yourself why, before you embarrass yourself any further.”

That’s when the other boy noticed the crowd surrounding them, and instantly flushed bright red all the way down to his chest. Mark didn’t spend another minute in the presence of the other and stomped off into the main building.

Little did he know, his friends – luckily excluding Jackson – were standing there with dropped jaws, watching him leave for class.

At noon, Jinyoung and Mark got together for lunch. Jinyoung tried not to make it too obvious as he threw Mark one look after the other.

“So,” he started, “How was your morning?”

Mark huffed, “Awful, Kim Jisook-gyosunim kept going on and on about the same bullshit documentary and I had to pay attention, he already warned me twice now and ugh—“ Mark banged his head against the table and groaned, resisting the temptation to take a nap on the hard surface.

Jinyoung looked at him, lips pursed, “Alright, you don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to,” he started, “I’ll do the talking instead.” He shoved his sandwich to the side and sighed, “I don’t know what’s going on between you and Jackson, but I’m pretty sure I could cut the sexual tension between you guys with a knife – if I wanted to. However, since you haven’t explicitly told me anything yourself, I’m gonna go out on a limb and assume you guys just haven’t really talked about it much.” He gave Mark a meaningful look and continued, “Now, I don’t really care if you guys get together or not, because I really just want to see you guys happy whatever happens, but if you don’t talk this shit through, I’m gonna be the one to do it for you – and you know how that will end. Just end this fucking torture and get some damn sleep.”

And with that, Jinyoung resumed practically inhaling his sandwich. Momma Jinyoung had spoken and even though Mark hated to admit it, Momma Jinyoung was right.

Mark bit down on his lower lip and sighed, “Do you even think he wants me?”

The younger almost choked on his sandwich, glaring at Mark when he swallowed down the bite of bread and mozzarella. “You’re kidding, right? Jackson’s been looking at you like he wants to fucking swallow you right up since the first time you guys met. I was there, remember?”

The redhead smiled at the memory, realizing how much he missed the other boy’s eyes on him. The wheels in his head started spinning and by the time the plan in his head had unraveled, he was smirking, much to Jinyoung’s disapproval.

“You’re scaring me, hyung. You’re not plotting a murder, right? I don’t think killing off Jackson is the best solution here.”

Mark looked up at him, pressing his lips together in amusement. “Not exactly, no. I’ll tell you about it tomorrow, if I’m not too tired.” He winked at the younger and got out of his seat. Mark then simply went to class for the rest of the afternoon and – later on – studied in the library until the clock struck 8.15 PM.

* * *

Jackson had practice until 8, but Mark remembered him talking about preferring to shower in his dorm room instead of taking a shower right after practice in the showers of sports building, unlike most of his fellow fencers.

Mark got to the younger’s room at 8.30 PM and sighed, gathering all the courage he could muster as he reached up and knocked. It took Jackson longer than usual to get the door and when he did, Mark got why. Somehow, the redhead had developed some kind of talent of catching Jackson wet and mostly naked.

The younger was barely holding onto the towel loosely draped around his hips, hardly leaving anything to Mark’s already racing imagination.

“Hey,” Jackson blinked, licking droplets of water that sat on his bottom lip, “Are you okay?”

The redhead felt like the tension was going to suffocate him at some point. He exhaled slowly and worried his own bottom lip. “Can I come in?”

The door opened a little further and Mark stepped inside, immediately making a beeline for the other’s bed, the only real option for him to sit – seeing as Jackson had the nasty habit of collecting not-quite-clean-but-not-exactly-laundry-yet-clothes on the chair he supposedly studied on.

Jackson took a seat next to him and gulped. Mark figured he could tell that something was about to happen.

“We need to talk.” Mark stated. The younger sighed, looking as if he was preparing for something painful.

“Yeah—,” Jackson nodded, “Okay.” He looked like he was bracing himself, his jaw clenching and unclenching as his fingers fiddled with the blue comforter beneath them.

Mark kicked off his shoes and tucked his legs beneath him. “I haven’t been sleeping very well lately,” he started. This got a small smile to form on Jackson’s features – recognition.

“There’s something I got used to over the winter vacation, and that’s gone now – I miss it.”

Jackson smiled, “I--,” he started, “Maybe you could – I don’t know, what’s stopping you from doing it?”

A soft chuckle bubbled up from Mark’s chest and rolled off his tongue. “I think we both know what. You look a little tired too, Jackson-ssi.” He smirked, cocking an eyebrow.

“The thing is,” the redhead continued, “I’d really like to. There’s a lot of things I’d like to do—with you.”

This changed the light in Jackson’s eyes. “Really?” The younger cleared his throat and pursed his lips. “Like what?”

Mark grinned, “You’re an ass, Jacks,” He dropped his gaze into his lap and sighed. “I like you, Jackson. I like you a lot.”

“But?” Jackson added, looking torn between hoping for the best and preparing for the worst.

The redhead looked up, eyes wide. “What? No—No buts, it’s just—“ he huffed, “This is me confessing, idiot.”

Jackson’s features softened and his wary expression changed to a brilliant smile. The younger hummed in thought and licked his lips, leaning in to slowly press his lips against the redhead’s cheek.

“I like you too. Very much so,” he murmured.

Mark shivered – his eyelids fluttering at their proximity – and tilted his head, leaning in to catch Jackson’s lips with his own. He sighed into the lip-lock and reached up, cupping the younger’s cheek and caressing the damp skin with his thumb.

When they pulled away for air, Jackson groaned – a grin spreading across his face. “You’re gonna be so bad for my blood pressure.”

The redhead smiled, his eyes turning to crescents as he leaned back in. “You’ll get over it,” he said, and sunk his teeth into the younger’s bottom lip, who in his turn pulled the elder closer and carefully lowered him onto the mattress.

Mark could feel the temperature in the room going up as he melted into Jackson’s touch and reached up, tangling his fingers into the boy’s raven colored hair – pulling on it ever so lightly. Jackson hummed at the touch and trailed kisses down to the redhead’s jaw, mouthing at it for a moment before he continued his kisses down the elder’s neck. Mark’s breath hitched as Jackson sucked on the sensitive skin of his collarbone and Jackson looked up, pausing his actions as his hands rubbed soothing circles into Mark’s thighs.

“Are you okay? Is this—is this okay?”

Mark nodded, biting down on his bottom lip and let his eyes slip closed. “—Perfect,” he muttered.

Jackson smiled against the soft skin and closed his eyes, his senses being overtaken by the presence of the boy lying beneath him. “Yeah—you are.”

The elder felt himself turn a brilliant shade of red and sighed. “I don’t think I’ve felt this relaxed in over a week.” He fought to control the grin that spread across his features and failed miserably, much to Jackson’s amusement.

“Cute,” the younger chuckled. “How about we get some rest first, hmm? We could spend the entire weekend by ourselves, if you want.”

The offer sounded too good to be true, and yet Mark had faith in the raven-haired boy. He scooted over a little and let Jackson remove most of his clothes. Wrapped in his warm ball of happiness, Mark tucked his head into the crook of Jackson’s neck and let the younger cover them with the comforter. They both dozed off almost instantly.

* * *

Somewhere during the night, Mark stirred and peeked open an eye. He felt warm lips pressed against his forehead and tilted his head to look up and smile at the younger, who was looking at him with sleep laced through his features. Even in the darkness of the night, Jackson looked more handsome than anyone he’d ever met. Mark reached up and cupped the younger’s cheek, pulling him down for an passionate kiss that – apparently – Jackson didn’t mind at all.  Jackson deepened the kiss, licking along Mark’s bottom lip and felt the elder hum against his lips. The raven-haired boy bit down on Mark’s bottom lip and tugged on it hungrily as he moved and carefully positioned himself between the elder’s legs.

The redhead reached around to map out the younger’s back with hands, placing them on his shoulder blades. He then pulled the Jackson closer and licked his way into the boy’s mouth, his legs slowly securing themselves around Jackson’s hips.

Jackson slid his hands down the other’s sides as he sucked Mark’s tongue into his mouth, eliciting a soft cry from Mark’s lips. The younger pressed himself against Mark and teasingly trailed his fingertips along the elder’s thighs – taking pleasure in the boy’s reaction to his every touch. He rolled his hips, groaning at the delicious friction caused by the towel still wrapped around his lower body and the thin fabric of the other boy’s boxer briefs.

“Fuck,” Jackson cursed into the heat of Mark’s mouth and squeezed his eyes shut. He leaned in and shamelessly lapped at the skin on Mark’s neck, earning a shiver from the elder. “I’ve wanted this for a long time—”

Mark felt his cheeks burn, heat coiling low in his abdomen and spreading beneath the surface of his skin. He reached down and tugged at the knot Jackson made to keep the towel in place. Jackson quickly placed his hand on top of Mark’s and stared at him wide-eyed.

“You sure?”

The elder nodded and tugged at the knot some more. “I need—“ Mark didn’t get any further than that, hoarsely spoken words lost in the hot air surrounding them. Jackson licked his lips and nodded in understanding, letting go of the redhead’s hand. Mark untied the knot and flung the cloth to the ground, revealing the younger’s length. His breath hitched at the sight and he looked up, gulping at the dark eyes staring down at him.

Jackson caught his lips once more and Mark’s eyes slipped shut. The younger’s hands traveled back to Mark’s thighs and up, thumbing at the boxer briefs that hugged the elder’s ass tightly. He pulled them down slowly and broke the kiss, working to get them off. The article of clothing quickly joined the towel on the floor and Jackson was on top of Mark again, mouthing at one of the pink nubs on Mark’s chest, making the elder cry out at the stimulation.

One of Jackson’s hands found its way to one of Mark’s ass cheeks, cupping it firmly as he rolled his hips, making both himself and the elder gasp as their lengths brushed together – too sensitive and yet not enough. His teeth grazed the redhead’s nipple and Mark bit down on his lower lip, his breathing now coming in short, hot puffs at Jackson’s touch.

Reaching out into one of the drawers of his nightstand, Jackson grabbed a tiny bottle of lubricant and a condom, placing the condom next to them on the bed. He poured a generous amount of lube onto three digits and slickened them up, eyeing Mark the entire time to make sure he didn’t detect any signs of doubtfulness.

“This’ll hurt less if you turn around, baby.” Jackson chewed the inside of his cheek, aching to pleasure his – dare he say it – _boyfriend_ , but scared to hurt him at the same time.

Mark shook his head, “It’s fine, really – I wanna see you.”

 Jackson nodded once more and set his jaw, determined to take his time. He carefully spread the boy’s thighs and bent his legs at the knee, settling in between them before placing a soft kiss on either inside of the elder’s knees.

“Tell me if it hurts, okay? I’ll stop.”

Mark’s breathing picked up its pace again, excitement mixing with the knowledge that this first part probably wasn’t going to be pleasant.

The younger slowly reached down and – keeping an eye on Mark’s facial expressions, rubbed one of his slick digits against the boy’s entrance. Mark gasped at the cold wetness, clenching down and making Jackson groan at the tightness of the ring against the tip of his finger. Once Mark relaxed, Jackson carefully slipped in the digit, keeping it there for a moment to let Mark adjust.

Mark bit down on his bottom lip – his length straining against his lower abdomen at the realization of what they were doing. He rolled his hips and closed his eyes, concentrating on relaxing as he slowly rolled his hips and moved on Jackson’s digit.

“Fuck,”

The redhead opened his eyes – not sure whether he had said it or Jackson had – and saw Jackson stroking his cock, looking down at him as if he was in pain.

“You have no idea what you’re doing to me, baby – _god_.”

Mark reached out and closed his hand around Jackson’s, squeezing his length. “Don’t waste yourself like this, get on with it – you’re not the only one feeling needy,” Mark smirked.

Jackson groaned at the sultry words rolling off Mark’s tongue and let go of his cock, focusing on loosening up the boy in front of him instead. He carefully slipped in a second digit and watched as Mark winced – clearly a little uncomfortable. Jackson wanted to stop but Mark shook his head, his eyes blown pitch black and his cheeks flushed as he reached up and pushed the fiery red strands of hair back.

“Don’t stop. Don’t you dare stop.”

 Gulping, Jackson slid his fingers in all the way and slowly made a scissor motion with his fingers, working Mark’s walls and watching the boy writhe on the mattress – his nails digging into the dark blue comforter. After a few minutes, Mark relaxed enough for Jackson to snuggly fit in another digit. Mark gasped and clenched around the digits, gulping as tears formed at the corners of his eyes – in all honesty, he was just about ready to bolt.

_Too much – Too fucking much_

“Are you okay, baby?” Jackson bit down on his lower lip, imagining in how much pain the elder must be.

Mark nodded, “I’m—I’m fine, just—Just give me a minute.”

Jackson frowned, patiently waiting for the boy to relax. He reached out and curled his fingers around the redhead’s cock, stroking it slowly to distract the boy. Mark groaned, his eyes squeezing shut at the pleasure and the pain mixing in, making the head of his length leak in anticipation. Jackson spread the sticky substance around the tip of the boy’s cock and leaned in, lapping at it. Mark’s hands shot down into Jackson’s hair and he held his breath, cursing breathlessly at the overstimulation.

The younger bobbed his head once – twice, before engulfing the boy completely, relaxing the back of his throat to allow him to slip in as far as he could. Jackson hollowed his cheeks and applied more pressure as he started bobbing his head once more, slowly feeling Mark relax around his fingers. He then started moving them in and out, the lubricant providing a slick glide as he moved inside the elder and curled his fingers upwards slightly, eliciting a scream from the redhead.

By then, Mark was completely gone, his veins were filled with liquid fire and he felt like he could explode at any given moment. He pulled on Jackson’s hair, forcing the younger to release his leaking cock. “P-Please—Please, I can’t—“ Mark was almost in tears, desperate for release but determined to get there with Jackson.

Jackson got the message and slowly slipped his fingers out, reaching down to wipe them on the towel. The younger then leaned in and caught Mark’s lips hungrily. The redhead sucked on his lips and tongue and pulled him as close as he possibly could, wanting to feel him everywhere.

“Please—“ Mark pleaded, “Please, get inside of me. Want to—“

The raven-haired boy nodded and trailed kisses all the way down his neck and caressed the elder’s thighs as he positioned himself. Jackson paused, his eyes glazed with lust as he reached out and put on the condom that was lying almost forgotten next to them on the mattress.  Carefully, he slipped in the head of his cock and inched his way inside.

Mark felt full—too full. Once the head of Jackson’s cock had slipped passed the tight ring of muscles, he already felt like that was it. But Jackson was filling him _more_ with each passing minute and it was both the most painful and most incredible feeling he’d ever experienced. The redhead bit down on Jackson’s shoulder, whimpering against the abused skin as he tried to relax – tried to accommodate the boy’s cock inside of him as much as possible.

Seconds felt like minutes – hours, and Mark finally relaxed. Jackson looked at him like he was ready to pull out and never go anywhere near Mark’s ass ever again. It was as if he could feel the boy’s discomfort. Mark reached up, his shaking hands cupping the younger’s cheeks, and pulled him down for a passionate, lazy kiss. When he pulled back, he quickly lapped at the boy’s bottom lip and hummed.

“I’m ready, I think—“

The raven-haired boy nodded – then leaned in and practically mauled the elder’s neck, scattering love bites and lapping at the sweat slicked skin. He slowly pulled out of the boy and then thrust back in, knocking the air right out of Mark’s lungs.

Mark felt his inner walls burning, but the initial pain had subsided and given way to this incredible feeling of being so deliciously _full_. He groaned and locked his legs around Jackson’s waist, panting against the boy’s neck as he took the shallow thrusts that slowly starting coming faster and faster – he could tell Jackson was still holding back, but the pleasure inside of him was slowly building, and the shallow thrusts were no longer enough.

_More_

“D-Deeper, baby.”

It was the nickname that did it for Jackson. His cock twitched inside of the boy and he grabbed Mark’s hips, pinned him down onto the mattress and slammed into him. Curse words in Korean and Cantonese were flung into the air surrounding them. Mark’s eyes rolled back into his skull at the perfect angle in which Jackson was slamming into him and he found himself clawing at Jackson’s back. His own back arched off the mattress as he took thrust after thrust and his senses went into overdrive.

“J-Jackson – _Fuck!_ ”

Mark’s cocked leaked onto his abdomen and the tell-tale burn signaled he was so close – _so_ close. Jackson seemed to be dealing with the same issue. He reached down and grabbed Mark’s length, pumping it hard in time with his thrusts as he felt the heat coiling in his veins. Mark’s hand shot down to refrain Jackson from giving him the overstimulation, but Jackson used his free hand to pin Mark’s hand against the mattress, intertwining their fingers. He leaned in and kissed the redhead heatedly, falling apart when he felt more than heard the elder scream into the kiss, coming violently in Jackson’s fist and over his stomach. The elder’s inner walls squeezed Jackson’s cock, making the younger tip over the edge as well, his eyes rolling back into his skull as he emptied himself into the latex wrapped snugly around his length.

Jackson kissed his boyfriend slowly, panting into the other’s mouth and squeezing the elder’s hand with his own tightly.

Mark looked up at the younger, feeling like he was sinking into the mattress, melting in the other boy’s embrace. He slowly relaxed, growing incredibly fond of the full feeling he’d gotten used to. The redhead licked his way back into Jackson’s mouth and squeezed around the length that was slowly growing soft inside of him, eliciting a low groan from the boy on top of him.

The elder smiled into the kiss and pulled back, resting his head back against the pillow. Jackson wasn’t having any of it, however, and leaned in – catching the other’s lips over and over again. The raven-haired boy refused to not feel the boy in every way possible. When he pulled away, he rested his forehead against the other’s and sighed.

For the first time since the start of the year, Mark was the one doing the staring.

“You okay, baby?” Jackson frowned, letting go of Mark’s hand in favor of pushing the boy’s hair out of his face and cupping his cheek. “Did I hurt you?”

Mark shook his head and sighed, admitting to himself that – a year ago – he would never have thought he would be in this situation. Being in a room with a person he felt like you could trust – so much so that he’d give up running – give up hiding. Someone he wanted to give the entire world to. The amazing part – believe it or not, was that he was sure that this person could give him all that and more. Mark found himself wanting every bit of it. All of Jackson. Intertwine their lives and live life as though there was – finally – nothing left to be scared of.

“Thank you,”

Jackson blinked, “For—For what, baby?”

Mark smiled, reached up and cupped the boy’s cheeks.

“For making me whole again.”

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not sure to what extent I did a good job writing this story. I worked on it for a few weeks, and since I discontinued my other work "Unhinged" due to being far too busy to keep up with a chaptered fic, I felt like maybe writing this oneshot would be my way to apologise to those I disappointed. I do hope you enjoyed this story. Let me know what you think. 
> 
> Much love.
> 
> M.


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